The Ballad of Bayouburner - True Origin of Dock Soccer ©

[Bish]

Some of you were asking and I feel it's time to finally share the story of how "dock soccer" came about.  Back in 2003, I created my account (originally "Catchafishbish") and began posting.  Often times, I took part in trolling several people on the board, back before "trolling" was really a thing.  Many people thought I was serious...I usually was not.  Anyway, at some point, a few people started touting Dutchtown to be this great team that would go on to beat everyone and win the State Championship...really grandiose ideas for a program that I believe was fairly new and hadn't really tasted that kind of success.  I poked fun at these types of statements and some Dutchtown fans / players did not take too kindly to it - specifically bayouburner, who started sending me private messages.

I'll post this story in periodic installments...maybe weekly. We'll see.

This first message I received may have been bayouburner...I don't know, but I found it pretty funny, especially with the auto-filters for foul language, which actually used to be something like "LSU is Great" and "LSU is #1". This person dedicated their username as an insult to me! He even added another insult to his signature.



Shortly before that, the legendary bayouburner sent me his first message. Notice all the auto-filters for foul language.  



He was soon banned after that as he was apparently making threats to people on the forum.

The next day, after he was banned, he created a new account under the username 2ndRatePlayer:



After he registered his new account, he wasted little time in sending me another private message:



So I made a proposition:



Bayouburner was confused, but once again wants violence.



So I clarified:



Thus begins the origin story of "dock soccer." The next chapter is "The Negotiation."  More to come...

[premier]

Time to get the popcorn ready!

[uhscubs1]

This is great/classic stuff. Full of awesomeness.

[gallstar]

This is awesome and thanks for sharing.

[pompey]

I'm contacting Pitchstalker!!!!!!!!!!
BayouBurners coach. We may garner more insight.

[Bish]

Please do. I'd love to know more about this interesting person.

[Bish]

Chapter 2: The Negotiation

At this point, things started to get pretty heated. Bayouburner (2ndRatePlayer) wanted to play me 1v1, but didn't understand my counter-challenge to a game of dock soccer.

Before we get into it, some of you may be saying..."are you sure bayouburner and 2ndRatePlayer are the same person?" The answer is yes.  I already showed you the evidence of when I got his last message, him getting banned, and the timing of him registering the account 2ndRatePlayer soon after.  Below is further evidence.  While all this was going on, my brother, takeitdowntown1 was also talking some trash to him (on his bayouburner account before it got banned) and challenging him to a 1v1. My brother specifically refers D-town players as "second rate players."  Apparently, bayouburner took that pretty personal and used it as a motivational badge of honor when creating his new account.



Back to the story. Once again, bayouburner wants to throw down.



In order to make sure he understood what I was saying, I tried adapting my language to whatever you'd call his. I also upped the ante and changed the time to 4AM.



Now he's more confused about the location of the docks...he also starts complaining about the time proposed.



I counter with



Bayouburner does not like the accusation of him being "skerred" and pops off with this.



Noticing a sore spot from him, I pile it on:



I also make my first accusation that 2ndRatePlayer and bayouburner are the same person.



And I will end this chapter with message that contains the infamous quote in my signature.



Up next is Chapter 3: Where Them Docks At? . This may be the final chapter.  Stay tuned.

[OuachitaCoach]

Still waiting...

[Bish]

It's coming. Patience my friend.

[OuachitaCoach]

Feb 19, 2020 10:21:52 GMT -6 Bish said:

It's coming. Patience my friend.

Is this our board's Half-life 3?

[Bish]

Hahaha. I'll post it eventually. Just been busy lately.

[Bish]

The Final Chapter: Where Them Docks At?

By this point, Bayouburner was pretty fumed.  But he was only getting started.



Not satisfied that I didn't respond in 1 minute apprently...and no, he wasn't in fact calling me "a Saint."



Back to work.



He did not take too kindly to being accused of not being able to drive.  



I bluntly answered his question.



Apparently my brother had been messaging him while all this was going on and challenged him to something he called "the cone game"...I'll have to explain another time. 

There he goes again complaining about playing early in the AM.



I call him out again for making excuses.



He doesn't want to find no docks apparently.



Now a change of heart? Where them docks at?



I clarified that I didn't have anything to do with "the cone game" and explained where the docks are to help him out.







And the abrupt end of this confrontation...I love the foul language filters...



He sent me a few more messages later on, but they were more one off's and him talking more trash.  Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the history lesson. Dock soccer 4 life.






















Epilogue
I can't believe this all happened over 15 years ago. Since then, I've received numerous messages from various people asking me about the sport of dock soccer. I once described it to a fellow poster as:

"It's a game some of us play at the Baton Rouge docks. It's a good 1v1 game. Each player has a barrel to defend. The object of the game is to hit your opponents barrel. We usually play to 10.



The reason we play at 3 AM is because nobody is on duty at that time, and we'll get kicked out if somebody catches us."

That, of course, is not the only way to play. My view is that any sport or game played on a dock with a soccer ball IS dock soccer...

Over the next couple of years, my late brother (takeitdowntown1) and I would often joke about dock soccer.  One of his last private messages that he sent was to another poster who had asked him about what dock soccer was after I had challenged the poster to a match in another thread.



The End

[Scott Crawford]

Do people still play dock soccer? Where is bayouburner today?

[ski]

That’s an awesome story. One to pass down gen to gen.

How old are you here?

[Bish]

Scotty, I would love to know. Good to hear from you buddy. I hope all is well with you!

Ski, my age is in my profile.

[Scott Crawford]

Great to see you still roaming the halls and docks keeping us informed. Doing well here. Happy to see high school soccer still churning. Hope you’re doing well.